With this concept of spiritual intimacy, we are not talking
about how to win friends and influence people – Dale Carnegie covered that
topic thoroughly. We are talking about developing transparent, honest, open,
fully-invested relationships. Myra Boone says, “Friendship is actually no
mystery; it just takes a willingness to work at being close. I’ve found the
essential elements of a strong relationship to be making time to be together,
risking being honest as you share and listen to one another, and valuing,
honoring, and respecting one another’s preferences.” I agree Myra!
Please allow me to share a story: A woman who had been living
a pretty full life (by her estimation) shares that she was sitting in Bible
study one evening when the Lord tapped her on the shoulder and started speaking
to her spirit. He directed her to the passage James 5:16, which reads: “Therefore
confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be
healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” He began
to speak to her heart and share that this passage does not just speak to the
idea of healing from sickness or being delivered from sin and receiving
forgiveness, but also being delivered from the weight of burdens that we bear.
So she was just listening and taking in what she believed she was hearing from
the Lord. He told her that He wanted her to have that type of intimate
relationship in her life. He went on to tell her who He’d like her to approach
and ask if they could develop a transparent, accountable friendship. She
thought she’d pray about it and maybe call the woman on the next day. He clearly said, “No, talk to her tonight.”
So after Bible study, she did. And the
woman she approached with uncertainty, welcomed her with open arms and abundant
enthusiasm!
This person, you may have already guessed, was me. I was not the one being approached; I was
doing the approaching. This was new for me. This idea of transparency like I
was sensing God was trying to show me, was foreign. But my dear friend and I
continue, to this day, to share one another’s joys and pains and day-to-day
experiences with a transparency that I’d not known prior - and which was fairly
uncomfortable at first. The Lord quickly
brought a second woman into my life and we have intentionally developed a very
precious, transparent, and spiritually intimate relationship. I’ve found that
as I’ve learned to be more open and less guarded, the Lord allows me to connect
deeply with these and other wonderful women of God who speak into my life and
give wise counsel…and we have a lot of fun too! There is freedom and a
“lightness of spirit” that comes with being transparent with these women. Yes, to confess
sin [side note: that kind of openness can be scary but redemptive] but also to
share things I’m concerned about or worries or just to seek their wisdom
through various life circumstances. To be known…to really be known...is a joy.
And to have the privilege of knowing these ladies and participating in their
wonderful lives is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced.
We all fall somewhere on the intimacy continuum between “Get
away from me!” on one end and “I have so much to tell you!” on the other. While
I love and enjoy people deeply, I didn’t know what it meant to haev an “able
to be seen through: easy to notice or understand: honest and open: not
secretive: free from pretense or deceit” type of relationship. But as I’ve studied and prayed and practiced
it, both with human beings and with God, I’ve grown so much, and I love it! As
I’ve shared, I have no doubt that it is the Lord’s will for us to be in
intimate relationship with one another. So for the next couple of days, we'll look
at how to do that…
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