The Work of Tenderness

Yesterday I threw out the phrase “the work of tenderness”. I thought we’d explore that further today.

We all know what tenderness looks like: kindness…affection…gentleness. It’s the look in a father’s eyes as he holds his newborn baby girl for the first time. It’s the emotion emanating from the volunteer who serves the homeless and/or hungry on a weekly basis.

The work of tenderness refers to what is produced by tenderness—the results of operating from a stance of tenderness.  Here are four things to be considered:

1. When we allow tenderness to lead us, we are being led by the same Spirit that was in Christ.

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14

“Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, ‘I am willing; be cleansed.’” Mark 1:41

“So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.” Matthew 20:34

And when we are led by the Spirit, there is no limit to what can be accomplished!!!!

2. When we allow tenderness to lead us, we develop empathy; the ability to identifying with others. Having tenderness toward others causes us to slow down and be present, to hear, to take in what others are saying, to seek to identify with them, and then to respond graciously.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16

3. When we allow tenderness to lead us, we allow the light of Christ to shine through us. And when we allow Christ’s light to shine through us, you know what happens, right? “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16. When others see us being gracious, kind, and gentle in Jesus’ name, it glorifies God. It makes no difference if this happens in a long-term relationship or in a brief encounter. The principle works that same with family members as it does with your third customer in line at the bank. When we relate tenderly, gently, and with kindness to that frustrated client, the checker at the supermarket or the gas station attendant, we let our light shine. And the way we do that, is through a tenderness of heart toward others.
4. When we allow tenderness to lead us, it allows for a gentle tending of the soul. Here is where we return to Proverbs 15:1- “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Choosing gentleness affects both our soul and the soul of the other person. Have you ever had a conversation with a person that was seemingly innocuous so you really gave it no attention, but then you tell someone else about it and they get all stirred up and upset?  They tell you that the other person should not have treated you that way or that they were really trying to insult you. And then you get stirred up and upset!!!! And you start to tell yourself, “Yeah, she shouldn’t have said that to me!  Who does she think she is?!?” But originally, you’d given it no thought at all.

This is what happens when we get caught up in the negative, possibly self-righteous, or harsh responses to life circumstances. We can find ourselves upset and in turmoil when we dwell upon the negative. We do not build healthy relationships when we respond with harshness.  Rather, we stir up anger within ourselves and within the other person.

A gentle answer turns away wrath. In the midst of an argument and in the midst of everyday relating, a gentle answer can diffuse the tension and start you on the road to reconciliation, restoration, and cooperation.   

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:18&21

“…make every effort to add to your faith goodness…knowledge…self-control…perseverance… godliness…mutual affection… [and] love.” 2 Peter 1:5-7

The work of tenderness is to allow the Holy Spirit to move in us so that we might impact the world for Christ, to nurture empathy within us, to glorify God, and to tend to our soul and the soul of our fellow man. It is a great work that I want to be a part of. How about you?