Advent

The season of Advent is upon us. And I, for one, am VERY excited. Today, December 1, is the first day of Advent and the season will last through December 24. You may be wondering, “What is Advent?” Glad you asked…

Advent is a season in the Christian year that lasts approximately 4 weeks and is a season of preparation for and anticipation of the celebration of Christ’s birth. It has a parallel meaning in that Advent (in Latin – “coming’ or “visit”) mirrors the time of the Jew's anticipating and looking forward to the coming of the Messiah. So this time of Advent is a time of anticipation and excitement regarding the first coming of Christ and a keen awareness that we wait again, for His second coming. It is a time for prayer, meditation, repentance, and allowing the word of God to speak to us. For me, this is a very sobering and wonderful time of year. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the typical Christmas activities, it is a centering place. As I reflect on my Savior’s birth and look toward the future in anticipation of His return, I am able to find a place of joy and peace. Which brings me to the themes we observe during Advent.

The four weeks of Advent each focus on a theme. There is some variety regarding the four themes of Advent but for this blog, we will focus on the common themes of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. You may have also heard of or seen an Advent wreath. The wreaths have as much variety as one can imagine but the consistency is found in the candles: 3 purple and one rose colored candle. Some also add one white candle in the middle. The purple is a symbol of “seriousness, repentance, and royalty”. The rose color symbolizes joy in the midst of the season. Mark Roberts puts it this way, “The pink [rose], joyful color reminds us that, even as Advent helps us get in touch with our sober yearning for God to come to us, we know that he did in fact come in the person of Jesus.” Regarding the lighting of the candles: on week one, two, and four, the purple candles are lit. The rose colored candle is lit on week three. The white candle, symbolizing Christ, can be lit on Christmas Eve or Christmas day.

So for the rest of this season, we will focus on the themes of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. My prayer is that even if you have not traditionally observed Advent, that you would investigate it this year and that your spiritual life may be enriched as you study.  In an effort to be brief, I have not written nearly enough to help uncover the beauty or the history of this season but I have provided resources below that can start you on your Advent journey.  Blessings to you!

 

An overview of Advent and some of what I've shared may be found here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markdroberts/series/introduction-to-advent/

Advent devotionals may be found here: http://www.biblegateway.com/holiday-devotions

Just As I Am - verse 6

Just as I am, thy love unknown hath broken every barrier down; now, to be thine, yea thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

In this final verse of Charlotte Elliott’s song, we see that it is God’s wondrous, inexplicable, unfathomable love that has destroyed any and every thing that would stand as a barrier between us and Him. Christ’s death on our behalf has done this. Our eternal future with Him is secure and the triumphant declaration is made that now we are His people. We are set aside to be in relationship with Him and to praise Him, to positively impact the world around us, and to live a full, joyful, and God-honoring life.

So now we know and understand that just as we are, we may come to the Lamb of God. No, we have no righteousness in and of ourselves but Christ died for us so that we may have the right to come to God with our lives laid bare before Him. He is the one who cleanses…who heals…who brings peace and rest…who forgives and purifies. It is because of His great love that we are invited to come. Praise God!

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.  1 Peter 2:9&10

The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. Revelation 22:17

THANKSGIVING!!!!

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. Let Israel say: “His love endures forever.” Let the house of Aaron say: “His love endures forever.” Let those who fear the Lord say: “His love endures forever.” When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; He brought me into a spacious place. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The Lord is with me; He is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. All the nations surrounded me, but in the name of the Lord I cut them down. They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the Lord I cut them down. They swarmed around me like bees, but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the Lord I cut them down. I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: “The Lord’s right hand has done mighty things! The Lord’s right hand is lifted high; the Lord’s right hand has done mighty things!” I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. The Lord has chastened me severely, but He has not given me over to death. Open for me the gates of the righteous; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord. This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter. I will give You thanks, for You answered me;    You have become my salvation. The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad. Lord, save us! Lord, grant us success! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. From the house of the Lord we bless you. The Lord is God, and He has made His light shine on us. With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession up to the horns of the altar. You are my God, and I will praise you; You are my God, and I will exalt You. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
Psalm 118

Just As I Am - verses 4&5

Today we look at two verses…

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; sight, riches, healing of the mind, yea, all I need in thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come, I come. Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Again the boiled down message of these verses is “Just as I am Lord, I come”. Whether poor or rich; in confusion or sobriety, in darkness or with clarity - in whatever state we find ourselves, not only may we come to God but we MUST come to Him. When all is well, we come. When circumstances are bleak, we come. And when we come to Him, He receives us… He receives us and He welcomes us. But not only that! He also forgives and purifies us. He gives us rest from that which burdens us. And He does all of this because we have put our faith in Him.

All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. John 6:37

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. Psalm 23:2&3a

Just As I Am - verse 3

Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Conflict, doubt, fightings, and fears: all of these exist not only in our environment – among friends and family, at work, at school - but within ourselves.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.” James 4:1

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”         Romans 7:15

The beautiful thing is that we can come to the Lamb of God in our state of conflict, in our unrest, with our doubts and fears. Just as we are, we may come.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6&7

Just As I Am - verse 2

Just as I am, and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot, to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

This second verse of Elliot’s song, again, is rich. The writer realizes that there need not be a delay in coming to the Savior, thinking that we can remove the darkness from our lives. Rather, coming to Jesus just as we are, spots and all, is ok because through His blood, He is able to cleanse us. Praise God for His cleansing!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Praying in Preparation

“Jesus prayed in preparation; not desperation.” – Pastor Kevin Schwiger

As Pastor Schwiger was teaching on the intimate relationship between Jesus and the Father. He was relating what was happening in the garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed prior to His arrest, trials, and crucifixion. When he made this statement about Jesus praying in preparation rather than desperation, it hit me right between the eyes. YES! Pray in preparation!  We see later, when Christ was on the cross, He was not praying to the Father for deliverance. He had moved on from that prayer. He was prepared for what was happening. Now He was able to pray for forgiveness for those who, in ignorance, sought and were delighted by His death. Jesus was prepared so He was now able to minister to the criminal on the cross next to Him.  He was prepared so He was able to turn His attention to caring for his mother. He was prepared and in a particular moment, He cried out to God as He experienced the separation from God that sin brings. He was prepared for the human thirst He experienced. He was prepared for the completion of the task (“It is finished”). And He was prepared to be with His Father.

Jesus prayed in preparation for what was to come. Although He knew what was to come (the purpose for which He was here) we have no clue regarding what is coming down the line for us.  In light of this, I think we’d do well to imitate Him – to pray for the Lord’s will to be done in our lives and then to meet our future head on.

Just As I Am - verse 1

“Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.” – Charlotte Elliott

Plea: a formal statement by or on behalf of a defendant or prisoner, stating guilt or innocence in response to a charge, offering an allegation of fact, or claiming that a point of law should apply.

This verse from the very old hymn, Just as I am, Without One Plea, is robust with precious and deep truth. The essence of the sentence is “Just as I am, I come.” But if this sentence was a sandwich, that statement would only represent the two slices of bread. The meat is that this imperfect, sinful person is not qualified to approach a perfect, sinless God EXCEPT that Christ’s blood was shed on their behalf AND (to top it off) the writer is actually being summoned by the precious Lamb of God. This is the point of law that applies!

Rewritten, this statement might look like this: Father, I’m coming to You realizing that I actually don’t have any right to approach You when we look at who I am and who You are.  But there is this one thing: Jesus died for me. And You said that His death is sufficient payment for my sin. So when I accepted Him as my Savior, You say that I am accepted by You. Further, You also invite me to come to You. So although I have no goodness in me and no right to come to you, I have nothing to offer, and I may be coming to you in a state of weakness or weariness or even in the midst of my sin, I come to you My Redeemer and Savior, never the less. In humility and based on the blood of Jesus and His work alone, I come.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me.” Revelation 3:20

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

I come from a tradition of singing hymns. And these songs have had a wonderful impact on my spiritual life. This particular song has six verses, each with wonderful words of transparency and humility. Starting on Monday we will take a very brief look at each of these verses and we will see what spiritual truths are revealed within.

Peter...My Man!

When I was working for a church, there came a time when staff was preparing for a particular program and those who were presenting in the program were to talk about which biblical figure they most identified with, and why. As I thought about it, I realized that I identify with Peter. Here’s why…

1.      Peter Messed Up BIG TIME – Three times, on the night of Christ’s “trials”, he denied even knowing Him! And on the third denial, the scriptures tell us that he did so with cursing!

2.      Peter Truly Loved Christ & Was a Man of Faith - Jesus called him “Rock”. Peter walked on water.  He, along with John and James, was one of Christ’s closest followers. He was crucified for His faith.  On more than one occasion, he declared the Lordship of Christ.

3.      Peter Had Repeated Opportunities to Remember He Needed Humility – Not only did he deny Christ, but prior to that, Peter was impetuous and cut off the ear of one of the Roman guards who came to arrest Jesus. Jesus had to rebuke Peter for that.

Although Peter walked on water…he sank. And Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When Jesus was washing the disciple’s feet, Peter told Jesus he didn’t want Him to wash his feet and Jesus had to gently help Peter get his thinking back in line. When Jesus told the disciples of all that was to come – what He’d suffer and of His death, Peter pulled Jesus to the side and rebuked Him! Jesus had to acknowledge the enemy in that moment and said, “Get behind Me, Satan…” Jesus also foretold of Peter’s denial but Peter adamantly stated that even if everyone else denied Jesus, He never would. Not very long later, Peter would deny Christ and weep bitterly at the remembrance of Christ’s words. When the Lord gave Peter a vision of various kinds of animals and told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.” Peter said “No, Lord. I’ve never eaten anything unclean”. And again, the Lord had to rebuke him.

4.      Peter Had a Calling on His Life, Regardless of His Imperfections - Yesterday we read his powerful sermon on the day of Pentecost. Paul referred to Peter as a pillar of the church. He was an advocate for including Gentiles in the Christian church. His writings ended up being a part of the Bible we read today. Peter was a missionary.

Like Peter, I have messed up BIG TIME on many occasions. However, I truly love Christ and I am a woman of faith. I too have had so many opportunities to remember that I need humility.  Like Peter, sometimes those are prideful situations but they can also be the result of a sincere (but slightly misdirected) love for Christ – i.e. cutting off the ear of the Roman soldier. And like Peter, I have a clear call on my life even though I am far from perfect. The relationship with Peter and Christ was special and precious and our Lord dealt with Peter in a way that was unique from the other disciples. Just as he deals with each of us according to how He has uniquely made us. Because Peter was impetuous and suffered with a “foot in mouth” condition, Christ was so tender with Him, giving him opportunities for redemption, and opportunities to express himself freely.

I identify so well with Peter because of the fact that I also am prone to run off at the mouth and to act before thinking. And like Peter I have a calling that, in the natural, one might question my capacity to fulfill. But with the Spirit of Christ dwelling in me, as He was in Peter, I make every effort to confirm my calling and do all that I’m called to. (2 Peter 1:10) Regardless of the mess-ups, regardless of the imperfections we all are quite capable of making a great impact on this world for the benefit of others and to the glory of God...just like Peter. I’m encouraged by his life and so glad to know that even in my imperfection, the Lord can still use me to do great things!

The Best Sermon I Have Ever Heard

On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to dwell in the Believers who were in Jerusalem and it was quite an event! There was the sound of a violent wind and there appeared to be something that looked like tongues of fire descending on them. And to top it all off, all of the Believers started speaking in a language that was unknown, but somehow those who were in town for the festival – Jews from various nations - each understood in their own language. A miracle for sure! However, some who observed discounted the miracle and said that the people were just drunk. Peter responded to this line of thinking and to much more through his words recorded in Acts 2 verses 14-41 – the absolute best sermon I have ever heard!

Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: ‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. I will show wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ “Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. David said about him: ‘I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest in hope, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, you will not let your holy one see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’ Fellow Israelites, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. Seeing what was to come, he spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, that he was not abandoned to the realm of the dead, nor did his body see decay. God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of it. Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear. For David did not ascend to heaven, and yet he said, ‘The Lord said to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”’ Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah. When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

AMEN!

Why Me?

Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens…When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars,     which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet…Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! (Psalm 8 excerpts)

Numerous times in my life I have stood gazing up at the vast evening sky, with the beauty of the stars and thought about this Psalm. I have been overwhelmed thinking about how it is that an amazing God who has created all things, can do all things, and knows all things would so highly esteem regular human beings like you and me. The psalmist rightly asks WHAT IS MAN THAT YOU ARE MINDFUL OF HIM?!?!?!  When I look at the heavens, the works of your hands, all you’ve created, I wonder what in the world would make you care so much for me?  For us? You created man just a little lower in rank than the angels! And then you gave us rule over all that you created?!?!? What in the world???  This is one of those instances where the meaning of the Isaiah 55:8&9 passage becomes crystal clear: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Yep, crystal clear.

I am humbled and amazed that this God who created the heavens and the earth so deeply loves and cares for the nearly 7 billion people walking this earth, the ones who have come before us, and the ones who will come after us. I can’t explain it. I can’t fully grasp that kind of love.  But I am so thankful for it.

The Middle

Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.  Proverbs 30:7-9

With this proverb, we revisit the sayings of Agur. Very little explanation needed here. The self-awareness of Agur, and I would venture to say, his awareness of general human frailty, is explained here. When we are exceptionally prosperous we may be inclined to forget that it is the Lord who has enabled our success, and we may brag about our successful ways. When we are poor we may be inclined to turn our backs on the Lord and resort to corrupt actions in an attempt to change our plight. Agur is pointing out that either extreme may inspire feeble humans to “go off the deep end” in response. His remedy is to ask the Lord to give him neither poverty nor riches. Agur desires to be positioned somewhere in the middle – in a place of recognition of God’s sovereignty and appropriate reliance upon Him. Agur believes the wise man values the “middle state” of life – neither poverty, nor riches. And this is the positioning which he asks from the Lord. A place of grace where he will neither disown nor dishonor the Lord.

Paul, however, states “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12&13)

Paul, like Agur is aware of his and our humanity – our penchant for discontent, our natural striving for more…bigger…better, our drive to “keep up with the Joneses”. His remedy is, like Agur, to rely on the Lord for his contentment. And through Him who gives Paul strength, he has learned to be content even if he finds himself somewhere other than the “middle state”.

We can learn from Agur to pray and ask for the Lord’s mercy; that we not be lead into temptation. (Matt. 6:13) We can learn from Paul to rely on the Lord to hold us in a place of contentment in Him, regardless of the state we find ourselves in. These are two great words of wisdom.

Making Decisions From Omniscience

You’re a terrible decision maker! It’s not your fault though. You don’t have all of the information. So you do your best. You make educated guesses. And sometimes they work out really well…but they are still just guesses as to what would be most beneficial for your life. Again, it’s not your fault - you are hindered because you are not omniscient.

But I have good news!  I know Someone who is omniscient – He knows it all – past, present, and future! AND He is willing to whisper in your ear and give you really good info.  He has provided the Bible as a guide for our lives as well as the Holy Spirit who can live within you and guide your very steps.

So, do you know Him?  Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior?  If so, stay connected with Him and let Him guide your decision-making. If you have not accepted Him, you can accept Jesus today and you can be on your way to a much better life of decision-making (not to mention the awesomeness of eternal life with Him in heaven).

Check out this brief video that I also posted on Friday: http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

May God richly bless you today!

Freedom!

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

I was taught that when you see “therefore” in scripture, you need to find out what it is there for. Clever, right? Well, in this case Paul, prior to this Romans 8 statement, is lamenting that he is “wretched”: that he knows the right things he should be doing, but he ends up doing what he shouldn’t. Can you relate to that at all? Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to make a choice and you know the better course to choose, but somehow you make a left turn and find yourself in a very wrong place? This is what Paul is talking about. He says that in his inner being, he delights in the law of God! But he sees himself behaving in a way that is contrary to that law. And he feels as if he is hopeless against the draw of this sinful behavior.

But then Paul says, “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25a) And we learn that this is what the “therefore” is there for! It is pointing us back to this beautiful truth that God delivers us from our sin, therefore there is no condemnation hanging over our heads! No condemnation now or in our future. We who have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord have been set free from paying the penalty for sin, which is death or as Paul says, “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:2) Praise God!

So, beloved one, if Jesus is your Lord, you are forgiven and accepted (Eph. 1:6) just the way you are, without condemnation. If Jesus is not your Lord, He waits with open arms for you to come to Him so that He may save you and set you free from the law of sin and death. No condemnation.

 

For more information on making Jesus the Lord of your life and other great information, visit: http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

During The Drum Roll

We used to use the drum roll frequently – for competitions, for game shows, for magic tricks – any time something was being revealed but suspense was being built first. Before David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear, I’m sure we waited in suspense during a drum roll.

The drum roll happens after something has been announced but before it is revealed. “And the winner is [drum roll………….] CONTESTANT NUMBER 2!”  And the crowd goes wild! Or “Let’s see what’s behind door number 3 [drum roll………….] the curtain opens and it’s “A BRAND NEW CAR!” We wait, excitedly, during the drum roll, to see what’s going to happen.

God is also in the drum roll business. Waiting to find out you are finally pregnant. Waiting for that new job. Waiting for healing. Waiting for the approval to come through. Waiting to see that loved one come to Christ. Waiting. While we wait, the drum rolls.

We can wait anxiously if we want to. And sometimes, the longer we wait, the more prone we are to become anxious. We are very human like that. J We get a little shaky. We start to entertain the “what ifs”. And usually our “what ifs” are not positive. What if we can’t have a child of our own? What if I never get a job? What if I never experience healing? What if they don’t approve? What if my loved one never comes to Christ?

We can also choose to wait with excited expectation. We can wait with assurance that God’s got an awesome plan, and after the drum roll, it will be revealed.  

The drum roll is inevitable. The question for today is what will you do during your drum rolls? Here are some choices: pout, rage against God and others, be hopeful, continue to do what you’re called to do, kick the cat, eat too much hummus, speed down the freeway, sing, serve, and remind yourself that God has not forgotten you and that He really does love and care for you...

The choice is yours.

Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. Hebrews 10:35&36

Key #7 - Like Your Spouse

Whoa boy! This is a big one. You’ve seen them, right? Those couples who can’t get enough of each other!  I don’t mean physically. I’m talking about they always want to hang out with one another, and they are always missing each other when they are apart for “5 minutes”, and they send each other text messages throughout the day, and they give each other sweet looks from across the room, and they put notes in each other’s lunch, and they each think the other is the most clever person they’ve ever met, and they laugh at each other’s jokes, and they have their inside jokes, and they relish every moment together. You know…THOSE couples! J

PRAISE GOD for those couples! These are also the couples who tell me that they married their best friend. These are the couples who have been sacrificial and gracious and patient and forgiving and tender with one another. Think about your best friend and how you feel about him or her. Do you feel that way toward your spouse?  If not, what can the two of you do to cultivate those positive feelings?  Maybe it starts with just treating one another as good as you treat your friends.  If you do feel that way about your spouse, stop reading right now and go give him or her a high-five!

If you are not yet married, think about this before you consider marrying. If you don’t deeply like (not love) them now and if you can’t imagine being lifelong friends with the person you are dating, that is something to think and pray about. If you stripped away the excitement of romance, being in love, and physical attraction, would you still like them? Would you still enjoy them? What would attract you to them? Would you want to be friends with them for the rest of your life? Do you respect how they live their life? Do you respect their decision making…their level of wisdom…their character?  Proverbs 31:30 points out that good looks will fade and charm can be deceptive. Consequently, we should want to become one with the man or woman of God that we truly enjoy being with, who fears God and will put Him first. That is someone you can like for a lifetime!

Key #6 - Love Your Spouse

1Corinthians 13 says: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Two sweet examples I’ve seen among friends in love. 1) Husband comes home after a long day at work, a stressful commute, and working out.  Wife says she’d like some chicken on the grill.  Husband, without hesitation, goes outside and fires up the grill in order to hook it up. 2) Next week, after dinner the husband and wife are just watching TV. Husband says he’d like some cake and is wondering if there is any left from the weekend. Wife immediately gets up to go bake a cake for him since the cake from the weekend is gone.

Remember we talked about loving our spouses in practical ways and submitting to one another?  This is practical. This is submission.  After work we are tired. After running a household all day we are tired. After going to school, running a business, caring for others, training, etc., we can be tired and many times we just want to sit down and rest. These two sacrificial acts came from love.   It’s simple; not a big deal.  And yet, it can be such a big deal because it’s hard! But it sends the message to your spouse that you care for and value them – that you are willing to meet their needs even when it may be inconvenient.
How do you show your spouse your practical and sacrificial love?

Key #5 - Be Gracious and Forgiving

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Matthew 6:12)
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
(Hebrews 12:14)

We all know our level of ability to be gracious and forgiving so I will let the Word of God do the teaching on this crucial matter of the heart. Jesus tells a parable about the importance of forgiving others because we’ve been forgiven so much. So I will simply say: don’t make a big deal out of the imperfect actions that come from your imperfect spouse.  We all mess up.  We all have deficiencies. We all occasionally mess up even when we are trying our hardest. Be gracious. Forgive.

Matthew 18:21-35: Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

No Shame

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. (Romans 1:16)

Paul is addressing the Roman believers. Just prior to this verse, he was expressing his eagerness to be in their presence, to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, and to share with them. He is eager to share the gospel with them! Paul’s words here reveal a beautiful heart. There is “no shame in his game” regarding sharing the gospel because it is what brings people into a transformational relationship with Christ.  Everyone is invited to enjoy this relationship and through the gospel, the truth of God’s lordship is revealed. God alone is righteous. God alone can save us. The believer need only live by faith. What a sweet message…nothing to be ashamed of.

Key #4 - Be Willing to Hear About Yourself From Your Spouse

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment, but a man of understanding walks uprightly. Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established. (Proverbs 15:21&22)

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)

Adam and Eve were completely exposed and completely unashamed in front of one another. Regarding being unashamed, John Gill says this: having nothing in them, or on them, or about them, that caused shame; nothing sinful, defective, scandalous or blameworthy; no sin in their nature, no guilt on their consciences, or wickedness in their hands or actions; and particularly they were not ashamed of their being naked…besides, they were not only alone, and none to behold them; but their being naked was no disgrace to them, but was agreeably to their nature; and they were not sensible that there was any necessity or occasion to cover themselves, nor would they have had any, had they continued in their innocent state: moreover, there was not the least reason to be ashamed to appear in such a manner, since they were but one flesh.

I like that Gill observes that “they were not sensible that there was any necessity or occasion to cover themselves”. Adam and Eve were together and in such a state that it did not even occur to them to hide from one another – they were one flesh. This is the goal for us in our marriages – to be transparent and vulnerable with one another. (there goes that intimacy again!) And, by the way, when your spouse is transparent and vulnerable with you, please honor them by valuing and respecting what they are sharing; not shaming them.

Because your spouse knows you better than anyone else they are in a position to clearly see your areas of strength and weakness. Your spouse loves you deeply and is in a perfect position to give wise counsel in the time of need. Is your heart humble enough to receive constructive criticism? Are you humble enough to speak the truth, in love, to your spouse? Can you be vulnerable enough to talk through deep and sensitive matters? Yes, have people of wisdom in your life that can give you wise counsel! God’s word advises us to do so.  But make sure that after God, one of the loudest voices you hear belongs to your spouse. Have open ears and a heart that gives value to your spouse’s opinion.  After all, you married someone whose opinion you respect, right?

Key #3 - Be Into What Your Spouse is Into (but have your own gig too!)

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:21&24)

Guess what?!?!? If she likes golf, you like golf.  That doesn’t mean you have to play golf with her every weekend but it does mean that you are open to the idea of going when she asks. It can also mean her golf days are a family event in that you always have breakfast together before she leaves to go play or maybe you always meet at your favorite spot to eat afterward.  Maybe you have a ritual of watching your favorite movie together the night before?  

You know what else?!? If he likes soccer, you like soccer. Maybe you don’t play but you will be at every game.  You may even go to practices, if that’s important to him. You look for soccer related stuff to give to him as gifts.  You are at practice with cold water for him and maybe his favorite snack for the ride home. And if his game/practice times are his special “guy time”, you respect that.

The two of you are one. Ideally you and your spouse are operating with one heart and one mind. Yes, you and your spouse are individuals who are fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator, and you are unique and precious (Psalm 139:14). It is expected that you will have different interests, different love languages, different communication styles, different definitions of fun, etc… As a matter of fact, please make sure that you do! Don’t get lost in your spouse’s identity. Be who God designed you to be and do what God designed you to do. But you can show your spouse that you are invested in them by caring about what they care about.

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Key #2 - Be Willing to Grow Together

Don’t hit the ripe old age of [whatever age you think is old] and think you have learned it all, heard it all, seen it all, and experienced it all.  Be interested in, even hungry for, knowledge and new experiences and be willing to grow as you get it.

An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Proverbs 18:15

He also taught me, and said to me: “Let your heart retain my words; keep my commands, and live.  Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you.  Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote you; she will bring you honor, when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace; a crown of glory she will deliver to you.” Proverbs 4:4-9

Join your spouse in gaining knowledge. Learn some things together. Go to church together. Go to marriage conferences together. Learn to cook together. Go hang gliding together. The operative word is “together”!  Don’t stagnate.  How often do we hear people who divorce say that they just “grew apart”? Or they might say they “fell out of love”. You probably know couples who are living in the same home but living separate lives. I can’t say it more clearly: continue to pursue knowledge throughout your life.  Seek knowledge of God. Seek knowledge of yourself! Seek knowledge of your spouse. We change over time – child birth, changing jobs, death of a parent, illnesses and surgeries, milestones like birthdays and children moving out (or in!) – all of these types of things shape us. Don’t lose touch with your spouse and where they are in any given season of life.

Seek God’s wisdom. It is good for you – it’s what prudent people do, it’s the sign of wisdom, it brings life, it preserves you and keeps you, it promotes you, and brings honor.  Pursue that knowledge with your spouse.  And while you two are at it – go play!

Key #1 - Love God More Than Anyone or Anything Else

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matt 22:36-40

The 7 Keys to a Successful Marriage are not arranged in order of importance, save this one. The most important thing you can do IN LIFE is to love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  The second most important is to love your neighbor just as you love yourself.

It is not hard to see why this is the foundation for a successful marriage. God must be first in all we do. Why?  Because He is the omniscient (all knowing) and omnipotent (all powerful) One.  He is not only the creator of the universe but is also your creator (see Psalm 139) and He has perfect plans for your life (see Jeremiah 29:11).  He knows what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen and He desires intimate relationship with you (Leviticus 26:12) in order to guide your steps (Psalm 37:23, Prov. 20:24) and allow you to live the abundant life He’s designed for you (John 10:10).  

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and He will come near to you... Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.  James 4:7-8a, 10

Submission.  First and foremost, in our lives, we need to submit our will to God.  This is a challenge, isn’t it?  Think about your life and how you live.  You may be sincerely striving to honor God in all you do, yet you fall short at times.  Right? If it is difficult to submit to a perfect, loving, righteous, and holy God, who only wants good for you, how much more so will it be difficult to deny your will and submit to an imperfect, limited, flawed, and sinful human being – your spouse?  Loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind allows us to grow in the practice of submission to the One we love.  Learning how to turn our back on what we want in order to honor God and live the way He desires for us to live is a journey that we will never finish. However, the self-control needed to be able to resist self and submit is a gift from the Spirit that we can appropriate. Gal 5:22-25 reads: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Amen!  So we can, by the power of His Spirit, submit ourselves to God. (and when we fall short, there is forgiveness!) Then we can exercise that same self-control as we submit one to another.  Ephesians 5:21 reads: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. When you are in the thick of difficulty in your marriage, remember that your first submission is to God, and THEN to your spouse. So when (not if) your spouse starts “trippin’”, ask yourself what Christ’s response would be in the situation. Maybe you will need to pray, breathe deeply, count to ten, or call a time out and ask your spouse to give you a hour (or a day) before you continue the conversation. Submission can be challenging, but you can do it because you have the needed self-control already in you. 

The second command from Christ is to “love your neighbor as yourself”. How do you love yourself?  Do you make sure you rest? Eat daily? Shower?  Brush your teeth? Protect yourself by wearing shoes or a coat or a hat? Do you make sure your life is good by living as safely as possible? Paying your bills so you have heat and light?  Do you maintain your car? Perhaps you get a massage every two weeks?  Perhaps you go fishing once a month with your buddies to maintain a sense of peace and to de-stress?  This is how you love your neighbor – with rudimentary, practical, helpful, and sometimes extravagant love.  (Ephesians 5:1&2, James 2:14-17)

Loving God first and foremost is the most important investment you can make in your marriage.  Loving your spouse as you love yourself is the second.

7 Keys to a Successful Marriage

1. Love God more than anyone or anything else.
2. Be willing to grow together. 
3. Be into what your spouse is into (but have your own gig too)!
4. Be willing to hear about yourself from your spouse.
5. Be gracious and forgiving.
6. Love your spouse.
7. Like your spouse.

 

The 7 keys are not an exhaustive list of everything that can happen to contribute to a successful marriage. This list is compiled with full knowledge that circumstances may exist to hinder some positive things from taking place. Separation, tension in the marriage, differing belief systems, grieving over tragedy, and numerous other circumstances can throw a monkey wrench into the plan to build a successful marriage. However, these are some of the broad categories that make for a successful, God-honoring marriage and can be practiced, to varying degrees, in any marriage.

If you are not married, DON’T STOP READING! Before you get married, you need to date well. This means that you are dating with the end in mind: a successful marriage. These 7 keys should be in your mind as you are sorting through the barrage of men or women who want to date you. If you are an adult and dating just to “have fun”, I still encourage you to consider these keys.

As you read through these 7 keys, they are each designed to “unlock” a truth that is essential for your relationship. Yes, marriage is complicated and tough. Yes, some marriages did not start out on the right foot and now you are dealing with some rough realities. Yes, the 7 keys are ideal and all may not be attainable now. But the idea is that you have been given these tools to consider, to pray about, and to introduce to your marriage. If you are not already practicing the 7 keys, please don’t overwhelm your spouse with a “there’s a new sheriff in town” attitude and try to force all of these into your marriage. Rather, if you can, talk about them and see how each of you feels. And if in agreement, try some.

Lastly, if you are in a marriage where you believe things are dying, pray and ask the Lord for His kingdom to come and His will to be done in your marriage. As you feel His prompting, seek wise and godly counsel (James 3:17&18). Hold on to your faith and seek God to strengthen you (Galatians 6:7-9). And finally, wait on the Lord and be of good courage (Psalm 27:13&14).

Over the next 7 days, we’ll take a closer look at each one and I invite your thoughts on each.

 

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Christ, The Solid Rock

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.” These words were penned by Edward Mote. I have sung them 100s of times – maybe you have too.

In the midst of great prosperity – a growing family, job promotions, thriving marriage, physical well-being, profitable business, etc. – we run the risk of thinking that we have “arrived”. That our education, our business acumen, our strategic thinking, our charm, or some other of our attributes have landed us where we are and that if we just keep doing what we are doing, we’ll be fine. If we think that way, we are fooling ourselves. God is the source of our blessings (James 1:17).  In theory, most of us understand that all we have could be gone in an instant. One phone call, one meeting, one doctor appointment, could be the beginning of a devastating season in our lives. In practice, however, we behave as if we have created it all and that we can sustain it all.

We must live this life with the awareness that God is our source. He is the source of our strength. Our health. Our wealth. Our joy. Our peace. Everything! Our God is solid. He is unchangeable. He is the only One we can count on without risk of disappointment. He is faithful. He is who He says He is and He does what He says He will do. He is to be trusted. He is all. And we need not, for one minute, think otherwise.

So in all of your blessings, remember, the source of those blessings is Jesus. And when (not if) you are experiencing loss or disappointment, remember that Jesus is still your source and you may confidently place your hope in Him. Any other foundation for hope is as unstable as sinking sand.