Key #4 - Be Willing to Hear About Yourself From Your Spouse

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment, but a man of understanding walks uprightly. Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established. (Proverbs 15:21&22)

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)

Adam and Eve were completely exposed and completely unashamed in front of one another. Regarding being unashamed, John Gill says this: having nothing in them, or on them, or about them, that caused shame; nothing sinful, defective, scandalous or blameworthy; no sin in their nature, no guilt on their consciences, or wickedness in their hands or actions; and particularly they were not ashamed of their being naked…besides, they were not only alone, and none to behold them; but their being naked was no disgrace to them, but was agreeably to their nature; and they were not sensible that there was any necessity or occasion to cover themselves, nor would they have had any, had they continued in their innocent state: moreover, there was not the least reason to be ashamed to appear in such a manner, since they were but one flesh.

I like that Gill observes that “they were not sensible that there was any necessity or occasion to cover themselves”. Adam and Eve were together and in such a state that it did not even occur to them to hide from one another – they were one flesh. This is the goal for us in our marriages – to be transparent and vulnerable with one another. (there goes that intimacy again!) And, by the way, when your spouse is transparent and vulnerable with you, please honor them by valuing and respecting what they are sharing; not shaming them.

Because your spouse knows you better than anyone else they are in a position to clearly see your areas of strength and weakness. Your spouse loves you deeply and is in a perfect position to give wise counsel in the time of need. Is your heart humble enough to receive constructive criticism? Are you humble enough to speak the truth, in love, to your spouse? Can you be vulnerable enough to talk through deep and sensitive matters? Yes, have people of wisdom in your life that can give you wise counsel! God’s word advises us to do so.  But make sure that after God, one of the loudest voices you hear belongs to your spouse. Have open ears and a heart that gives value to your spouse’s opinion.  After all, you married someone whose opinion you respect, right?